N for Nikhil.

A Naive, novice, nihilist niggling numero uno nestling,nowadays not narrow-minded though nonchalant who needs name .Nevertheless noxious notions notwithstanding the nonsensical nondescript nucleus of neck of the nature are native to his nomadic noggin. A noticeably nonpareil, nonconformist, he is nudging every norm, nurturing his nous to notch a niche for himself. By negating neurotic,niggardly,nauseating narcissists, who narrate nation’s nugatory,notorious news he’s navigating into nacreous nuances of nature.

An Evening That Changed My Life-1

3.5 years have passed now and still no night goes by when I don't remember that ghastly incident (exaggeration) or in simpler words it has left its 'indelible imprints in the tortuous furrows of my hippocampus'.After giving the entrance examination of some colleges, we all school friends finally met at PVR Saket after quite a long time. Oh! Those days of yore... hell I don't miss them that much but the present ain’t good either. Real life sucks man|Fuckin' BSBE labs|The cheesy anthropods|The wannabe droogs who take all the shite preposterous facebook quizzes,thinking that one who dies with maximum number of quizzes win|The smell of the oil that BSBE lab Chick uses|Huggu's hairdos|Phony maggus|Fat-bottomed local chicks wearing cheap tight jeans|Kurt Pussy Cobain|A.K.K's accent|

Coming back to that promiscuous bitchy evening, which seemed really nice, had the air of satiation blowing, everyone was grinning, touching each other in a chutiyatic way, horsing around. Eternal shenanigans. We had planned to watch one last movie together as it was the last time we could, cause' we were going back to the places of our inception.

So,the alokik 'Alok' one of my good old friends went to get the tickets only to find an infinitely long queue. He has all the qualities of being the ideal state of a student. Hardworking, tenacious, honest, religious and no sex or drug addict. From childhood he has a dream of being the politically correct politician which seems like a paradox.

Anyways while I was bird watching with other fellows, out of nowhere I heard a hullaballoo. And immediately as the image of what was happening formed on my retina, I felt like I had balls in my mouth, so asphyxiated.

An Evening That changed My Life-2

An aphrodisiac, mid twenties typical Delhi chick was crying as if someone raped her ruthlessly and didn’t even has the common courtesy to use condoms. And the worst part-that alleged someone was... ‘Alok’ though she didn’t say he raped her. She was repeatedly yelling “How dare you pinch my ass, you son of a bitch!” .And I was repeatedly yelling to myself “Calm down she’s just blowing things out of proportion like all women do”. But still we had to pacify her.

We approached her and pleaded her to take it easy and explain what actually happened but she was like ‘just fuck off I work with NDTV, your friend has molested me and I will put him behind the bars’ and before we could do anything came the low blow, unlike in movies where police never arrives on time here it was immaculate, 3 police constables arrived in no time and took over. They were acting like they knew exactly what had happened to the nth place of decimal, consequently didn’t even bother listening to us. While few minutes ago they were sitting miles away spitting pan and gossiping about Madam Rani’s breasts.

Blame it on the society fuckin’ society.. “A girl can’t lie, she can’t be wrong, every girl is sati savitri, she should always be forgiven and all guys are born creeps”... So going by the book they ‘clearly’ figured out that my friend was a negligent, docile, dishonest philanderer who molests girls as often as Navjot Singh Siddhu laughs on PJs.

I wished it was all just a bad dream but then suddenly something happened that made me sure that it wasn’t. A police constable slapped Alok with the maximum force anyone can and the intensity of sound of his hand hitting Alok, symbolises the extent of the fuckin’ bias which exists the society against men. Whatever rubbish that chick was blabbing was being accepted as clean truth. She even threatened me to put me ‘behind the bars’ for only uttering a word. Boy! Maybe she was Princess Diana in disguise but in my opinion she was an infected whore who was really rocking us like hurricane.

An Evening That Changed My Life.-3

Policemen held Alok by his collar and dragged him into the police station and we all followed them pleading him to listen to us once. But they stopped directly inside the station only. Not surprisingly we found no help but only some more beatings there too. And moreover not even one person there was thinking or wanted to think of the possibility that it could have happened that Alok accidently touched her .Considering the fact that the movie ticket counter at PVR Saket is always so crowded there is a high probability of that. But no one was agreeing even to speak to us just cause maybe we had a point but not a pussy or cash.

Finally after many hours of waiting outside the police station we went inside the police station where Alok was standing in front of a police officer. We talked to him and tried to make him feel that he was innocent but still he didn’t believe us. And suddenly he suggested that one thing could be done, as you might guess the suggestion and yes it was MONEY. He asked for Rs 5000, now that’s a big amount for students like us but a very minuscule amount if the police arrests and releases someone for this amount. I mean police was wrong on many grounds be it logical, ethical ,moral, but we were handicapped only thing we could do was to somehow get 5k from somewhere anywhere, and ultimately somehow we did manage to get it, gave that money to him and got our beloved friend out of the place he dint belong to .

That day I was so exasperated, helpless, felt so vulnerable, my friend was been beaten in front of my eyes and wasn’t able to do anything. All the faith I had in police and as for that matter GOD faded away and hatred erupted which is justified. He was innocent then why was he suffering? During the time I spent outside police station waiting, I saw her many times and even tried to talk but she bluntly refused. I just think maybe one day I could meet her or have a little chat over phone about what exactly had happened that day. I mean I know my friend was innocent so just to make her realize that she was wrong and that not every guy is trying to pinch her ass I wanna talk to her.

He and She-1

F.U.C.K...Forgetful Unhappy Cynical Kooky ..thats He.

B.I.T.C.H...Blissful Intelligent Tenacious Coquettish Hot..thats She.

S.E.X...Sweet Elegant Xperiment=He + She

Met at the strangest of strange places to make a strange thing not so strange.But strange enough not to become strangers again..

AT PRESENT:

"What was that? huh?..

You are an idiot Nikhil"..She said..

"Ya I know I am an Oscitant thicko Sonia ma'am.. Mam you know whats my only wish?"...

"what?"..

!"I wish I were DNA Helicase ...so that I could unzip your genes.."..

"Shut up!!.."

SOME 48 HOURS EARLIER:

He somehow(rather any road) managed to get a place in an obscure Biology Lab.With the admission letter in his hand , he was sluggishly moving towards the lab for his first day. It was a good day that day.Clear azure skies ,the birds were tweed ling , 25 women were having orgasms , few cancerous cell lines were proliferating and the Jesus was...ahh!!! nobody knows whats he up to..He likes kicking people's asses by punching them in their faces...Nevermind..

Sophisticated ,Convoluted, Mother fuckin' Mary ..these words exploded in his encephalon as he saw the lab for the first time. Spicy, Enamouring,Naughty ..these words exploded in his phallus as he saw her for the first time.

and then he finally came in her(the lab)..

"Hello mam.Actually Dr.Sharma has given me the permission to work in this lab .Here's the letter" ..he said

"How cutie!!!..Kinna sohna dupatta hai and an adorable bag Seema..."..

"Oh hello.kal se anna "..

Nevermind..

SOME48 HOURS LATER:

"Shutup and do it " she said..
"Are you nuts!! Someone will see us" he said..
"Do it quickly otherwise koi pakka dekh lega"
"Dammit !! these bottles are so heavy"..

Stealing F.C.S and PbS from cold storage is as risky as sleeping next to Karan Johar(given that you are a guy).But they did ..

cont....

"All Those Days"....

All those days I was with you,

Didn’t realize how much I had fallen through,

But, this December made me clearly see,

That your love is emancipation of soul for me...

All those days I wasn’t with you,

Everything I used to like seemed dreadfully inanimate,

I awoke to find u weren’t there wished I could change my fate,

Wherever I was, at the shivery river or walking in snowy coniferous forest,

Knew without you baby my bleeding could never be suppressed,

Even the most dazzling floras made me depressed,

I traveled across the valleys, climbed mountains, walked many miles

Listened to heart-rending love songs and have actually cried

Discovered that love is the deepest of all human emotions,

Devoid of it everyone one of us will be so dried...

All those days I wasn’t with you,

Imagined how poles apart all that places would have felt,

If u were only standing close to me having my hand held...
In all the temples I prayed, implored for your joy and happiness

Asked for we to be as one forever and for our relationship’s success,

While having my food I used to get lost in your thought,

Pretending to be happy was one of the hardest battles I fought...

All those days I wasn’t with you,

I wondered does your heart feel the same profound pain,

Do you also crave to meet me again,

feel the wetness of your tears Just upon my thought baby?

Has my absence made everything awfully hazy...?

Do you also try to seek isolation to scream aloud?

Have your friends Been saying that you have lost

the desire to walk out of the crowd?

And then the day when I talked to you in the end,

I found out that you have already done enough just by being my friend,

Accepting a loser like me and thus these questions hardly matter to me..

And no one can stop me from loving you whatever

you do or wherever you might be...

I will always be loving you.....

A Song For Her...

Is this reality or some fantasy,but it doesn't really matters to me..

We have met only once,I think my life has began only since..

Empress,Munequita,Angie and a million more names can b given,

and it still would be very less for how crazy I am driven..

She says she is confused,is in middle of nowhere,

I say,baby none of us Know why are we here..

She says she love chocolates,rains,roses and herself,

I wish I could be just one of them, rather than myself..

She says she can't control her anger,

I say who conquers his anger overcome his enemies...

She says she has grown up not anymore little,

I say baby u haven't,cause your heart's still so brittle..

A beauty queen of everlasting nature is what she is,

she has no season, thats why she's my only reason!!..

I say you gotta wait for right moment as it comes,

She says why not make the moment right..and I guess she's right..

IN THE END, she says...

I don't believe in true love..

I say "I don't love you for what you are,but for what I am when I am with you"..