Amsterdam XXX

"...Come on, oh my star is fading
And I see no chance of release
And I know I’m dead on the surface
But I am screaming underneath..." -
Chris Martin

Though I always liked Queer Coldplay's song Amsterdam but I really wondered if it was really about the place `Amsterdam'. However, luckily this summers I got a chance to see it for myself. Yes, if you have read my last posts it's a piece of cake to guess whom I went with and if you haven't it doesn't make a difference. Last posts are just like photos or postcards or whatever which you sometimes forget at the back of a drawer or closet. Of course that drawer is my mind and I am talking to myself here. Bollocks, this time I wasn't with that

wannabe. This time the `Anal Boy' accompanied me. I prefer being alone.

Ok, we reached Amsterdam Centraal at around 11 am. It was a chilly overcast Sunday morning. Like everyone does, even the majestic IITKGPites, we went to the nearest tourist info center to get the Map of the city. I remember asking the lady who gave us the map of the city how to say thank you in Dutch, she said "Hartelijk dank" My first glance at the map and as they say, `you see what you want to see' you know what I saw, given that you have seen Euro trip. With red color it was marked in bolds `Red Light District.' Not astonishingly our faces also turned red. Surprisingly not many tourist guides recommend going to the R.L.D. They don't even mention about it but everybody knows why people come

to Amsterdam. In my opinion it's a must see place (*of course not with your parents and god forbid your grandparents).

FOREPLAY

So We planned first to calm down and eat something then try finding that sacred spot. It's not that we got any erection or something just by glancing at map. I know I didn't. But we surely felt as Diane Lane feels when she sees her boyfriend in the movie Unfaithful for the first time. Now you got an idea, haven't you?

After eating like pigs at KFC and paying 50 cents for taking a piss we came onto the roads of the holy city. Nostalgic Trams running across the main roads, numerous sundry branded shops at one side of the road and an abounding number of boats, ferries running in beauteous canals to the other side. People sitting at the road side restaurants, smothered by the deathly ciggy smokes, eating Italian cuisines, drinking French wine, saluting toasts, wasting time, girls sitting in the laps of their lovers, some kissing, some cuddling, some circling their

fingers through the curly unkempt hair, feeling the heat on a cold day. It makes me jealous. In short, not much different from any typical European city.

I like swanning; I really want to do it. Lately, I have felt this immense wanderlust. It won't go away, like a baby's desire to be close to his mother. To wanna know everything about her and more. Inside out. And I don't know but I really wanna spend more time in future knowing her, for travelling is my drug now. Sorry, I started talking to myself again.

Yeah, Anal boy has O.C.D. He likes wandering too. He has lots of doubts or fears all around him. Doubting penetrates his daily life like Diego Forlan penetrated various football teams this WC. He spends almost 2 hours a day in the bathroom washing his hands mostly, but somehow can't. He tells me as a child when the fears first become prominent, he attempted to ignore them, but unsuccessfully. But now he no longer actively resists these fears. He often gets jealous while encountering semi-nude girls with their men. Sometimes he starts pulling his hair and go on forever. It sucks. He can't think for himself.

But I didn't have no choice, did I?

So we kept rambling through the narrow streets throwing caution to the wind... and suddenly we saw three unique doors having windows. The glass windows covered about 2/3 part of the door. But one couldn't see anything through the windows as the multicolored, predominately red drapes were hanging. All the doors had an unique hoods on top of them so as to keep small area in front of the door always shady. We moved further along the same street and we found more and more similar kinda doors with windows. I had a feeling that

this was the place we have been looking for, but I wasn't sure. Until, a curtain was drawn upon and a black, little fatty, middle-aged lady in maroon bikini appeared. Oh, this is it I whispered. And then another curtain was drawn, a Caucasian thin lady in pink aphrodisiac two-piece could be seen. The windows kept appearing and we kept watching one after one.

Red bikinis, voluptuous mongoloid Asian girls, some looked weary, some were faking a smile. Black erotic bikinis, leggy, athletic, European chicks whose nipples can easily be seen. Some dismissive, bootylicious white girls with huge bosoms wearing green luminescent swimsuits. Thin African girls with disproportionate amount of flesh on their lips and breasts. Few standing, few sitting on the chairs, few lying down on a soft bed with pristine white sheets, seducing everyone exactly like the ones we find in Porn movies. Some talking on their i-phones presumptively with their pimps or boyfriends and at the same time talking to the customers with their eyes. Some manicuring fingernails, now that's something I really liked given the whereabouts of them fingers. Few older and fat ones lowered their panties all the way just to seduce some customers. Some stood like robots, catatonic.

I looked straight into the eyes of one of the prostitute, she smiled and winked. I smiled back. I and Anal Boy kept walking and we entered a very thin street having room barely enough for one human to walk. The street ended abruptly to some sorta club with pink lights on, playing trance gay music and smoke coming out of it, it wasn't scary but we were terrified. Men were going inside causally so we followed them like we always do. Dim red and pink lights were glowing through the club and it smelled funny. It was a big hall divided into

small transparent but colored glass cubicles as in a big restroom minus any wash basins and shit. Not all the cubicles were open, but the ones which were, were occupied by prostitutes. Packs of cigarettes, drugs maybe marijuana, coke, meat injection, heroin or some herbal sex tablets were lying beside these women. They were impelling everyone to join them and experience the pleasure of it. One guy comes outta the cubicle, and the women says, "Come again baby! it was nice", "Yes fuckin' A I will."

It felt suffocated inside that place; I thought to myself this is not happiness nor misery, this is not what I want. So after few minutes anyhow I reached the exit. Anal boy was looking restless yet happy I don't know why.

It had started drizzling when we came out. We saw numerous sex shops like the candy shop and few sex theatre at one side of the road and the boats, ferries in the beauteous canals to the other side. Sex shops generally contains different types of soft objects which can be used for self-stimulation and can be put in places where you know, god hasn't made you equipped enough of reaching. And Sex peep shows, strip-tease, pole dances, banana shows and whatever you have dreamed in your wildest dreams were available in those sex theatres. Anal boy asked one of the Guys selling tickets how long the show will be? the guy answered by showing him the distance between the ring fingers of his two hands. You know what he was indicating.

As the night fell every tourist began to move towards the R.L.D as the ants move towards sugar. Earlier, sitting in a Chinese restaurant we decided that we won't go to the RLD again, but who cares about that now. So again, we entered the region whose entrance had small metallic equally spaced cylinders having small red lights on top of them. Literally the red light zone. All them doors with the windows had switched on the red light above them so that no one should miss them. In the morning also the lights were on but we didn't notice.

Without wasting anytime we started looking up to and admiring the windows again. Suddenly one guy was kicked out of the door and door was closed back in a flash, he cried "Fuck..Fuck." I don't know why he was thrown out but after all women of the street like Roxanne also have respect. A lot.

We saw a prostitute running after an old guy probably from the USA and finally when she reached him she slapped him right on the back of his skull. Thud...People laughed, a drunken girl said, "He must have taken her photo clandestinely. Dumb fuck." I raised my head and saw a sign saying "PHOTOS NOT ALLOWED." and it should be taken fuckin' seriously. Meanwhile, many people kept going inside and coming outta them doors. Mostly old hideous fucks, few muscular young lads who zip up only after they come outta the room to save time maybe, few Indians perhaps from Madras.

AFTERPLAY

"Hey Indian, come on!" some guys screamed standing outside a door which had an Indian looking woman sitting inside it. "Bhangra Bistar" song from the movie 'Dil Bole Hadippa' was being played inside the windows(*not Microsoft) Anal boy tried to control me but I couldn't

myself this time. I knocked on the door with trembling hands, she partially opened it. She

had brown eyes, brown skin, long hair, was around 30, wore black bikini, black high heels, had a sultry body to say the least. Her red lipstick was all out of the place, like someone tried to forcefully kiss her. I say, "Hello, I Just wanted to know the price of...?", she says " 50 euros for 20 minutes", "And what all can I do?", "SUCK and FUCK. Fixed Price." and she makes a gesture with her body and mouth when she says this. Then she asks , "You wanna come(*please don't confuse this with cum) inside baby?" The next moment just froze, everything stopped. War with all the moral fibers I have embedded in myself over my lifetime, all the fuckin' hypocritical scruples imposed by them phony people of this mad world on me, started inside me. I was shaken through my roots, shivers went down my spine. Can I for once think for myself? Did I really wanna do this? I could almost imagine vividly what will happen inside that door. Is this the fuckin' pleasure I crave for? Will it be real? Do I feel

sorry for the prostitutes?...

Suddenly Anal boy pulls me away and she looks at me in a way similar to a famished puppy looking in the eyes of his master...

Before we reached Amsterdam I kept telling the anal boy that, "I will go to a prostitute only if she didn't look a prostitute." I don't know what the fuck did that supposed to mean. Many of them looked like supermodels. On the way back home I said, "It really feels like a shite loser to go to a fuckin' prostitute man, plus I am virgin and I don't want to deflower myself by paying money for it. I mean you gotta love someone to have sex, don't you? It's all about getting respect innit?..."

He didn't say a word for he knew I was just like him. And all the fuckin talking in this world won't make a fucking difference. For we are all abject slaves of this crazy fuckin' society or are the internal chains binding us .



**THIS IS A PURE WORK OF FICTION. ANYTHING LIKE THIS NEVER HAPPENED AND NEVER WILL AMEN.